Bison is a taxonomic genus containing six species of large even-toed ungulates within the subfamily Bovinae. Some strange behavior has been observed. (see below)

The 500 pound bison just sat there with a bored look on his face, but his horns were trembling with anticipation.

He knew, that no one could beat him, he was unbeatable this bison.

He KNEW this, without a doubt. He knew he was the best.
He stamped his hoof several times, almost imperceptibly, but I noticed.
Yes, I noticed that subtle twitch of the hoof.

Many have tried. The arrogant ones, the aloof ones, the condescending ones,the expert ones, the technical ones, the poetic ones, the methodical ones, the betting types…except, this bison, he won’t take no bets!

Can you believe it? WHo does this guy think he is anyway, WHAT is he too GOOD for us?!?! He’s a PURIST this guy…

He did say he was pissed off about something and to show that he has more class, he was venting his anger into this dull human activity, rather than stomping us all (you get the impression he certainly could in a pinch)

There he is.

You really can’t miss him. Stands out like a bear this bison. Look how he GLEENS his horns with that napkin, some say he uses the reflection from those devilish things to take unfair advantage in the matches,but the real honest to goodness truth is, nobody can beat him. Yes, there have been others, with amazing skill, maybe even a passion for the game, but still, somehow,its always this bison saying “checkmate”, in his trademark DEEP monotone. Between his lightning quick chess skills, and this deep monotone “checkmate” of his, of course he is a remarkable creature, and hard to believe it when you see it. Opponents always sit, scratching their beard, muttering to themselves, plotting various attacks and strategies, and HE just sits there… chewing on some cud, a long blade of grass dangling, with a big clump of sod on the end.

When its his turn, his hoofs fly, two of them, clamping down on the piece and snapping it into position. There’s no effort, and his trademark yawn is often a source of some amusement to the crowd. Actually, during the game, he is the most tranquil and relaxed creature the world has known, and sometimes even nods off to sleep, and somehow KNOWS when the next move has been made, and wakes up for a few seconds to make his move. Once he caught someone cheating, and really just breathed on the guy, which was somehow enough to drive the fellow a great distance away. When he finally says “check mate” in that low baritone,it is certainly un-nerving but what comes next, is truly bone chilling…and a source of some discussion for days…

He lifts his head very slowly, sort of wagging his antlers from side to side all the way, and working his mouth into various shapes. His whiskers twitch, in that way that only a bison’s whiskers can ever really twitch. Then suddenly, his mouth forms into what can only be described as a gaping hole, and this rush of bisonic air explodes from miles within him somehow, a real tornado of a blast,somehow and for some reason, tuned perfectly to Bb. Nearbye trees visibly bend to surrealistic abstraction. Although originally his mating call, for thousands of years, it is now his swaggering victory howl, reserved for excessively giddy and smug moments such as this. He has even been known to physically BLOW the hat off his opponent, this after having blown their socks off in the match, this one two combo has, of course, made him a legend across the land.

The crowd is silent..

“He’s also REALLY pissed off about how we’re destroying the planet,” says the bison translator finally.

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