Protector of Dog
by Morgan Martin

“Well lets see, how do I get this thing open here, it really is stuck” I said, as I struggled to open a jar of pickles.

“Hey, did you say something about my DOG?” Bob seems pissed suddenly and inexplicably.

“What??, no, I’m just trying to open this jar of….”

“Sounded like you said something about my DOG man…Do you have a problem with my Dog bro? cause if you do…”

“no.., I LOVE your dog.  really, its probably my favorite dog in the WORLD, quite honestly, tell him Sweetheart, tell him.”

“well, I don’t know, it seems like you have a problem with my DOG.”

“no, actually, I was just trying to open this jar of….”

“Well, if anyone tried to hurt my Sweetheart, I tell you WHAT!”  Bob makes a fist ready to punch at an invisible dog killer standing suddenly there beside him it appeared.

Pause.

“Well, believe-you-me Bob, if anyone EVER  tries to hurt your dog, I will kick their ASS bro, DEFINITELY, anybody messes with that dog, is messin with ME bro. no question about it.”

“And she would stand up for us too!” says Bob suddenly ok.

“YEAH, YEAH, she would, she would. Teamwork man.”

“ok, well,” handshake.

“oKAY.”

“Cool.”

“Alright.”

“Alright, good to know, good to know.”

“yea, I love Sweetheart, I can’t believe you could even SAY that Bob.”

I continue trying to open this jar, its really stuck, I am banging it, and putting hot water on it,
then cold, then banging it, and banging it again…but it won’t budge.